Today, as parents, we are facing so many challenges due to the current global health crisis. Our children are navigating the "new normal" of life while experiencing a huge loss of not seeing their classmates, their baseball season, their parks and playgrounds. Even if they don't know someone who has died from COVID-19, there is still that constant fear.
A infectious pandemic like that of my children did not disrupt and reconfigure my childhood routine; but that didn't mean my sister, and I wasn't exempt from the pain of failure. Our younger brother died in a horrific crash when he was only nine and his death affected my personal and professional life tremendously. I agree that his death has made me particularly attentive to the children's needs-mine and others.
My father, who suffered so deeply from the loss of his only son, taught me a very valuable lesson that I believe is particularly relevant today. He explained that children need two things: love and discipline.
Children need our attention; they need to feel heard and to hear radical statements like "I believe in you" and "I love you". This gives them a sense of security that helps them deal with any challenge, big or small - and that feeling of security is so important during times of crisis, when the world feels so scary and uncertain.
But just as important when children feel heard is their ability to respect authority figures, whether they are parents, grandparents, teachers, doctors or political leaders. Discipline is the key to good parenting, as my father, a Vietnam veteran, knew so well and taught me.
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For me, the best kind of discipline is positive discipline - it's the core of my family coaching practice and the basis of author Jane Nelsen's innovative books for parenting of young children through teenagers. Nelsen's work offers practical and useful advice on how to educate children to solve problems independently. These books have become so valuable to me as a mom that I have decided to become certified as a Positive Discipline Parent Educator; I am certified to teach Nelsen's seminars and I always use his tools in my practice.
Behavior of the model
As parents, we want our children to have a certain amount of creativity and freedom, always within reasonable limits. Children don't know why everyone wears masks and keeps away from others, so we need to take the time to teach them what is expected of them and why. They must understand the reason behind a secure and social distance. But it's not enough to explain it - even some adults don't understand it enough - so we need to model behavior by diligently practicing safety.
be positive
Speaking of social distance, isn't it interesting that it took a global pandemic to bring families together? I am really touched by the amount of quality time that parents spend with children and siblings with each other. It's beautiful. I am an executive and lifestyle coach with many years of work from home experience with four children at home. Now that all of us, all over the world, are working from home, it can be difficult to stay sane in this whole unexpected union. But staying positive also helps with that.
"Even in a crisis, we have a choice: live in fear and anger or hope and positivity." - Kristen Glosserman, Life Coach and Positive Discipline Parent Educator
Get a rhythm
Rule No. 1: set up a routine and stick to it. My kids and I woke up at the same time, starting our online learning between 9 and 10, then working until lunchtime, when we share a meal together. Sometimes I cook, and sometimes I'm happy to report, the chef is my teenage son, who has truly embraced his inner gourmet by researching new great recipes online, then taking on the responsibility of making those recipes for the six of us. After lunch, we set aside time for movement - sometimes family exercise in our backyard, on our trampoline, or with a bike ride around the block.
Manage quicksand
As a coach, one of my mantras is: DO what works. What works best in uncertain times is not being too rigid in your routine. DO stay flexible because the sand moves under your toes every day. It is certainly a fact that we can all rely on in uncertain times - and a valuable life lesson that we all must learn.
To give direction every day, so we all stay on track, I ask myself - several times a day - “What am I DO ing, teaching or playing? "
Sometimes it's laundry and dishes; at other times, it might be doing a puzzle or enjoying a round of Monopoly (our family's current favorite board game). Don't feel stuck if you can't shake a Wi-Fi signal or master a math problem; keep moving forward.
Make time for awareness, at least one hour each day. During that conscious hour, kids (and you!) Can curl up with a book, bake cookies, try yoga and deep breathing ... or any activity that stimulates the brain in ways that their iPads and TVs can't. Support and encourage children in any way possible and tell them - and yourself - that they will be fine.
Even in a crisis, we have a choice: to live in fear and anger or in hope and positivity. Staying confident and positive will always be my choice. It is the best, indeed the only, way I know for finding light during times of dark uncertainty. So, we choose to connect with our children and partners.
We work to work together and be a team.
Doing homework
OK, so maybe the kids aren't learning that chapter they would have studied in school, but they're learning other lessons that will stay with them for life. Last week, my son learned how to load the dishwasher (he crushed it, lining up those utensils like a garment) and my daughter asked if she could have a sewing machine.
In the old days, these skills were part of the home economics - now we're all taking a crash course in the house and c. Here are some topics we can't wait to explore as we explore new ways to learn at home: grooming the family pet, planting a vegetable garden, ironing a shirt, making simple face coverings with bandanas, basic embroidery (mending torn clothes, replacing buttons, maybe even knitting), and playing cards and backgammon / chess (my son beat me five games in a row).
And we prefer not to be constrained by our family's presence at home. Now is a wonderful time to welcome all the love and to enjoy it. We 're fortunate to be seeing one another. Therefore it remains available to several different learning forms and the possibilities that they offer. No proven program requires you to feel constrained. Homework does not need to be our top priority now; let 's concentrate on doing home, working, instead.
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